After my fourth feedback session with my teacher, we both agreed that we were happy that my script was almost ready for a final draft.
Following a few notes on spelling and grammar, which I have corrected in the fifth draft, we discussed a few slight changes to make to the latest version.
To continue with keeping the caretaker anonymous until the last scene, my teacher and I considered leaving the description out of the playground scene, and emphasising the sound in order for his identity to remain a secret. The rationale for this was to increase what is left to the audience's imagination, retaining their attention to the very end of the film.
To give the caretaker reason for giving the girl his phone, my teacher and I also explored the idea her having her phone on her at the end, but signifying to the audience that it has run out of battery.
In conclusion, I am now happy that my script drives the narrative forward in each scene, providing a visual idea of what it will look like, whilst leaving directions and large amounts of dialogue out. After this feedback session, I am also confident that I can apply Marilyn Milgrom's Ten Point Plan to my script.
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