After receiving feedback from my teacher about my third draft of my script, I was able to understand that my writing was able to show clearly to the reader what would be seen in the actual film, as well as raise tension through including symbols that carry negative and dangerous connotations, evoking a response from the audience.
I was advised that my slug lines needed to be clearer and that I needed to add more, such as when Hannah enters and exits the cupboard.
The idea was raised to hold back introducing the caretaker. To increase the tension further, I want the audience to infer from less clear imagery until the end. I've edited the script so that the first instance of the audience being sure that they've seen the caretaker is when Hannah has to run and hide in the playground. I think that this will be more effective, as it creates aural and visual enigmas for the audience to keep decoding until the very end scene.
Finally, I was also pointed out on several grammar mistakes that I have now corrected in this draft.
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